Old Granny Panties

It's a rough economy - no doubt about it. Sometimes you have to do things you're not proud of. Rough times call for rough measures. That's a Winston Churchill quote.

I took a job as a bellman at a fancy schmancy hotel. My job is to unload luggage from car, label luggage, take luggage to guest room - rinse and repeat. So why is this something I'm not proud of, you ask? Let me explain. I'm a nosy person. I like to get into other people's biznass. So this job, though not glamorous, is a perfect gig for me because I can get to know things about people that only a bellman can know. I look in people's bags. Allow me to share with you some items I've found.

Example 1 - an old rich lady who rolled up in a BMW.
old granny panties, Vick's vaporub, inhaler, Viagra (gross), and a rubber band ball.

Example 2 - a guy, mid 30s, rolled up in a limo.
old granny panties, tennis racket, laptop (I took it), hamster, 2 lbs marijuana (I gave it to my friend D-Bag).

Example 3 - a couple, early 20s, rolled up in a beat up 1987 Chevy.
basketball, handcuffs, cell phone charger, matching socks, a Spanish bootleg copy of Debbie Does Dallas (I took it), 3 lbs of Styrofoam (WTF?)

After much deliberation, I decided to stop looking in people's bags. It's just not as cool as I thought it would be. I wanted to find ninja swords and bananas. I wanted to find animals and FBI documents. I wanted to find cool contraptions and maybe a few thousand dollars. Instead I just got some old granny panties and an adult movie I couldn't even understand.