He Spit on My Arm

There's this creepy guy who lives in my building. I was waiting for the elevator when I saw him coming. I took a deep breath and told myself I could deal - I could deal with him, just don't make too much conversation.

Anyway the creeper was standing next to me. I tried to not make eye contact and I was looking at my blackberry as if I were really busy, you know, important work stuff. Finally he took a deep breath and spit a little on my arm. I really didn't want to talk to him so I tried to wipe it off without him noticing and decided that I'd puke later.

"Sorry," he said. "Oh that's OK," I replied. I was trying not to look at him. I was pretending to type on my blackberry but what I was really typing was "dwero4234jdne32er." "Oh you have a blackberry?" he asked. "Yup," I said. "That's cool, I have a Schwinn bicycle."

"You wanna play Pictionary later?" he said. "Sorry, man I'm really busy," I said. "Oh, alright, I just thought I would show you how good I am at drawing you." "Excuse me?" I replied. "Yeah, your green eyes really shine when I use my Crayolas."

I got off the elevator and walked the rest of the way.