I didn't eat the donuts

Today was a pretty awful day. I literally woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I opened my eyes and I didn't know where I was. Then I dropped my toothbrush in the toilet. Then I fell in the shower and hurt my arm so I couldn't shampoo my hair and then my hair was dirty. Then I put my shirt on backward but I couldn't fix it because my arm hurt so I went around with my shirt backward all day. Then the bus was late so I was late for work and someone brought in donuts but I missed the donuts because I was late and I really like donuts. Then it started to rain and I got wet because I don't own an umbrella. Then I got in a fender bender and the person I bumped into was my boss and that was unfortunate because he really likes his car and he fired me because I hit his car. So now I'm jobless and my shirt is on backward and my arm hurts and my hair is dirty and I didn't eat any donuts and that makes me sad.

Oh and my socks don't match. It's because I'm colorblind. And then I played Monopoly with my friend Ed and he got both Boardwalk and Park Place in two consecutive turns and that was the end of the Monopoly game because everyone knows once you get those two properties, it's pretty much over. Then my watch broke so I didn't know what time it was and I went to go see a 6 o'clock showing of Titanic but I was walked in during the middle of the movie because I thought I was on time but I wasn't and people started yelling at me like, "Down in front!" And then I said, "THE SHIP SINKS!" I said that because I was mad at the people for yelling at me. I regret saying that because I didn't want to ruin the movie for people.