My girlfriend recently bought a basil plant. We named it Rudy - after Rutherford B. Hayes (true). This is my first bout with parenthood. Like a child, Rudy needs constant nourishing. He needs attention on a daily basis, needs to be fed when he's hungry, and turns brown from time to time.
I think about Rudy constantly. When I'm sleeping, I dream of Rudy. When I'm walking I walk with Rudy. When I'm on the phone - it's Rudy. "Hi Rudy, how are you? What's that? You need water? Why? I fed you this morning. Rudy? Are you there? Why aren't you answering? Rudy? RUDY? RUDY! Where are you? Are you OK? Oh Jesus no. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO"
I raced home. Rudy was fine. He's a plant.
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Sounds like you are completely prepared for parenthood, except with real live children there is a lot of crying and a lot of laughter, too. Also, a lot of chauffeuring around in a mini-van. Is Rudy planning on signing up for softball this Spring? Or maybe a dance class?
ReplyDeleteLook, I understand I'm not prepared for parenthood. And yes, Rudy is signed up for ballet this summer. He's very agile.
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