20 Steps to Becoming an International Spy:
1) Develop a foreign accent (preferably French)
2) Purchase a plane ticket to Santo Domingo
3) Get a fedora
4) Put a feather in the fedora
5) Wear a Yarmulke under the fedora
6) Grow a beard without the connectors
7) Marry a Russian woman
8) Get a MacBook
9) Get purple tinted contact lenses
10) Eat sushi...all the time
11) Once you get to Santo Domingo, look up a guy named Frankie
12) Tell Frankie you want to be a spy
13) Kill Frankie
14) Get a puppy and name it Frankie (don't kill it)
15) Go to the racetrack and bet on the favorite
16) Read "Where the Wild Things Are"
17) Find Waldo and don't tell anywhere where he is
18) Purchase a gun and throw it in the Hudson
19) Play Wii Fit for 3 hours a day
20) Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, smile.
Posts
I followed these steps to a T and became an international spy. Reading "Where the Wild Things Are" should NEVER, under any circumstances, be skipped.. I almost got out-spied once, but I remembered the following quote from the book:
ReplyDelete"And now," cried Max, "let the wild rumpus start!"
It saved my life.
Glad I could help.
ReplyDeleteKill Frankie, hahah
ReplyDelete