Negotiating with Terrorists

So if you aren't hibernating you know that President Obama gave the go-ahead to take out the Somali pirates that took the American hostage. What a bad ass move. I can't believe I didn't immediately remember the time when I had to take down the pirates, but last night in my dreams, it came back to me.

It was probably 1976 or 1977 (those were some rad times, brother) when I was working on a cargo ship delivering medical supplies to Hawaii when a pirate ship came and ordered us to go ashore. My captain, Captain Gertrude, gathered the crew onto the poop deck and said, "Listen men, we do not negotiate with terrorists." We all agreed. We would win as a team or go down as a team. We drew our swords.

The crew chose me as a representative to go talk to the pirates. I swam out to their boat, climbed aboard and listened to what they had to say. "Hi there! My name is Brent," said the pirate. He didn't seem like your typical pirate. He had neither a peg leg or a parrot on his shoulder. Both eyes were intact. "Hi Brent, I'm Gabe." We shook hands. "Do you want a Little Debbie Cake?" "Sure," I said.

I swam back to my crew and told them not to be worried. The pirates meant no harm. All they wanted was to be towed the rest of the way to Hawaii. One of their engines blew out. We agreed, but under one condition: unlimited Little Debbie Cakes the rest of the way. They agreed.

(Editor's Note: For your enjoyment ) - http://14.media.tumblr.com/oaDQWwRAbm98xg3mZqG8JbV2o1_500.jpg