34,000 feet

So I'm back from vacation (true). Thanks for all your patience as you undoubtedly were screaming at yourselves daily, "WHERE THE HELL IS HE?" Well, I'm back. And do I have a story for you!

So I took a flight through Philadelphia to get to the Caribbean (true) and the plane had one of those phones that are on the back of the center seat in front of you. Since I was young I always wanted to use one, but I was told how expensive it was to use so I never did. It always looked like fun. Talking on the phone from 34,000 ft.? Uh, yes please!

So right before I went on my trip I won a settlement of $5,600. I signed up for a credit card with a limit of - you guessed it - $5,600. So anyway, I get on the plane, I see the phone, I see my credit card and I did some simple math and figured out that if I was on the phone from take off to landing, all 3.5 hours, I would spend - you guessed it again - $5,600.

As soon as Sandy, the flight attendant, told us we could use our portable electronics, I picked up the phone, slid my Amex and called everyone in my rolodex - from Aunt Alice to Ziggy Ziggerson. The woman next to me was clearly annoyed, but if she understood how long I've wanted to do this, she would have understood. I didn't have enough free time off the phone to explain it to her.

I've decided to keep suing people and ditch my cell phone. Once you go center seat in front of you plane phone - you never go back.