Don't Come a Knocking.

I was waiting to make a phone call today at a phone booth (I got rid of my cell phone, read "34,000 feet") and the gentleman who was inside using the phone was taking forever. After 5, 10, 15 minutes, I didn't know what to do.

I remembered that in movies and TV shows, people knock on the phone booth when they want people to hurry up. So I knocked. The gentleman ignored me. There's no way he didn't hear me because it's a goddamn phone booth and I knocked hard. I didn't want to be Rude Jude so I didn't knock again. I decided to wait. I waited for another 5, 10 minutes. Then I just had to knock. I didn't care if I was Rude Jude or Irritating Ira or Annoying Alex, I was going to use that phone.

The gentleman slid back the door to the phone booth and said, "What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy?" "Who are you talking to for so long?" "My girlfriend. We're being intimate." I could see that his face was red and his knees were buckling. "Gross, dude." I said.

I immediately went to the Verizon store and bought a cell phone. The moral of the story: don't come a knocking when the knocking is a coming.